Just Another Day

Throw me the Packing Tape & Boxes--

2007-10-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

I'm moving. I need to start fresh and I cannot do it here. I need to focus on more than my unhealthy addiction/adoration for DB. I'll archive this and bring it over one day..Or just store it on my computer for personal perusal.

The writer in me craves a fresh page.

So, change your links, I'm G.O.N.E.

So, here goes-

2007-09-13T21:46:00.001-05:00

I've been reading my archived posts about DB. I know realize the cons of an online journal of sorts. All of you know the bittersweet drama of me vs. the commitophobe. I . got closure at one point--or so I thought--but I'll get to that in a moment. The there was the Stalker (WTF was I thinking?? Humdrum happy isn't my cuppa) & then there's Crush. I said once I'd be happy if we stayed friends and I still maintain that. Sure, he's adorable, smart, funny & we get along like peas & carrots (his phrase-not mine) but I think though we have a lot in common and might be great as more it's not in the cards. Our lives aren't intersecting like that. And on a small note there was that night of debauchery...but onto important things.

Now, back to DB. He's my one. My friend and my safety net. Sure, I got closure several months back. Or so I thought. Maybe it wasn't closure but a break of sorts. We have talked just about every day for work and sometimes it ventured into personal talk. Though I'm not sure when it ventured back into uncharted territory. It could have been when he was on vacation with friends and calling me or when I got slightly tipsy this summer and sent a text that went along the lines of whether or not we're together I adore him. And I left it at that.

We've spent some time together in the past weeks and it was quality time. It wasn't like before. Something has shifted with us. I think part of it is the fact that when we had our thing last Fall I had not dated anyone in years. X and I had split up about 8 months before and being the living in the moment type of person I am I let myself turn into a woman I didn't like. I should not have gone into it like I did-Head first. He should not have come into it then either like he did too-Wanting to be with someone yet keep them at distance due to a past relationship going bad.

It seems as though our relationship has shifted to a different place-Somewhere it wasn't' anywhere near a year ago. I always come back to him. I saw him yesterday and I came to the realization that he's it for me. The look on his face yesterday at the point right before he kissed me said it all. As for what was said, I won't forget it but will hold it close.

It feels good where I'm at. I'm not anxiety stricken over a man that knows every dirty detail of both of my previous marriages & then some and still sees me for me. And it sure doesn't hurt that when he kisses me I get lost. Or the fact that he can pick me up without flinching while his mouth is locked on mine either.

Enough rambling for now. I needed to put this here for accountability & Kimmah.

Tag I'm It-

2007-09-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

Let me start this with saying that I have not a clue as to when my dear Mama Kohl tagged me. So, here we go as I'm such a blog posting slacker.

RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag six people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.

Eight things about me:

1. I can drive with my knees. Just ask Turtle. This is one of his big 'My Mama is Better Than Your Mama' items. In fact he horrified his Nana with those bragging rights not too long ago. BTW, I'm pretty damned good at it too!

2. I've become quite the reality tv junkie: Top Chef, Design Star, Rock of Love, Project Runway to name a few.

3. Kissing-I love it, crave it & could do it all day long. *With* the right person. Neither ex was into it (should have been a clue!!)

4. I'm repetitive-I guess it comes from being a control freak of sorts and a Mom. If I say it enough maybe it'll be done or obeyed. I drive everyone nuts with it.

5. Christmas Villages-I became a woman obsessed last year with buying the buildings to make my very own little village. So much so that I have half a town already & a farm. I even have the coffee house as my sweet friend knows it's her fault I became the addict I am. I even created a database so that I can just print & take with me so I don't get any repeats. (I even have the friggin' pond & skaters.) Call me D.O.R.K.

6. I saved my babies' umbilical cords when they fell off. They're in my jewelry box.

7. I can eat lemon chess tarts all day every day.

8. Chips & Salsa-They're a staple in my cabinet & fridge. I always have extra for fear of running out. The few times I've run out of either one it has sent me into an anxiety attack. Of course it is always late at night and I can't get them.

Now that I'm done I have to call out 8 people...I can't do Blu as I just read her list so here we go: Mama Kohl (Yes, you too Mama), Kimmah, Locos Pocos, Texas Chaos & KimmieD--Consider yourself tagged!!

Update Dammit:

2007-07-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

Just like the EF Hutton commercial of years past: 'When Kimmah talks people listen' So in a nutshell-Or as close as I can get:

-We went to the beach with friends over July 4th and had a relaxing time. The ocean always seems to wash away any sense of negativity (though I haven't had that much lately.) and centers me again. It seems that it does the same thing for my boys.

-I got hit on by a married guy poolside at the beach. Did that part bother me? Not as much as the fact that he was totally shitfaced and was wearing a Yankees hat.

-Turtle turned nine on the 6th. My sweet little baby isn't so little anymore. He's tall and lean and is not as lovey dovey with me anymore. =(

-Crash's All Star team lost in the double elimination. Turtle's start up in 2 more weeks.

-Turtle & I went camping with Cub Scouts last week. We had a blast!! He went last year but I didn't. I tell you what it was so much fun that I cannot wait until next year! (Even though the 'Smother-er' was on the trip too.)

-Crash left for Boy Scout camp Sunday and won't be home until Saturday. I miss him though I'm enjoying my time with Turtle.

-I not only did 35 minutes of Stott Pilates tonight (Moira is awesome!) I did an additional 10 of an intense ab workout. I hurt in places I didn't know existed.

-Crush..Where do I even start with him? I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks, we haven't socialized outside of baseball (Except once with a group at Hooters.) yet we talk every day-At least once a day. I don't know whether to classify him as a friend or if I can allow myself to totally crush over him..I really want to crush over him..But I can't if he's not doing the same b/c I cannot allow myself to be fall again and be rejected.

-In fact speaking of crushing I just want him to kiss me one time so I can decide whether the crush is indeed warranted or if we're destined to be friends. Can I do that?

-DB is calling and pulling the sweet good guy routine. I'm not falling for it though....(Just kidding!) Also, my one and only Mrs. Robinson moment keeps coming back to haunt me. In fact I think most of it is due to the Crush and everyone's perception of us though part of it has to do with me not being interested and chasing. (Though I'd like to think part of it is due to me!)

-My sweet bestest friend, Miss T, called tonight and we finally got to talk. Just remember T, he's the sober version of my X. Also remember that he's a window licking, non productive fuckstick who is right back where he started his momma's. (Are we sure that he's not related to my X??)

Hopefully, I have fulfilled my updating duties and satisfied my favorite Drama Queen! :)

PS-If you find my digital camera please return it as there's 327 pictures on it that I need to upload..

Guilty Pleasures-

2007-06-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

My latest & greatest: Army Wives on Lifetime Totally unbelievable storyline about army wives (&one husband) from different backgrounds who bond over the birth of surrogate babies. As far fetched as it is I must say it's got a great cast: Catherine Bell (Loooved her in JAG), Kim Delany (Remember her from NYPD Blue & Tour of Duty?) among many others I've seen with parts in CSI, ER, Shark etc..I'm totally into this show. There's something endearing and hopeful about it.

Lifetime

Happy Ramblings

2007-06-25T14:17:00.000-05:00

I did the math. For the past nine days I have been happy. Not just in a good mood but happy. Verging on euphoric. This is not a normal feeling for me. Rarely, does this kind of happiness last more than a day or two. Believe it or not I'm not even waiting for the other shoe to drop as it usually does. I have not smiled this much in forever.

The only one thing I can pinpoint this to is Crush. He is truly a special person. We talk constantly. I could set a clock by his mid morning phone call during the week. Thanks to him I'm learning to take it easy and not try to categorize any and everything-Including him.

I will be happy wherever this may go. I'm enjoying the ride.

Choices..Choices..Choices..

2007-06-21T11:20:00.000-05:00

What fun thing should I do this weekend-No kids, no baseball, no problem right??

-Day trip to the beach.

-Spend an afternoon by the pool drinking something cold & fruity from the blender. (Need to call neighbor to see if she's game since she's the member..)

-Go see Pirates 3-Me, a good friend, a Diet Coke and Johnny Depp

Beyond those my mind is a blank. Crush is out of town for the weekend so that takes away a very nice option.

The End-

2007-06-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

Baseball is over. It was a bittersweet ending for me. Usually I cannot wait for the last day of the season but this year was different. I'm not sure why since we had so many problems as a whole (Board Of Directors bullshite). It could possibly be due to the fact that both kids played well, had great coaches, Turtle didn't need me hovering to make sure he was alright when Crash was playing, good friends..Who knows. All I know is that I miss it already.

In missing it I realized something of importance: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF THIS SATURDAY?!?!?!?!? I mean, seriously, I have spent every Saturday living, breathing and eating baseball since April! No boys, No baseball...What is a girl to do?? I'm scared.

PS-Did I mention All Star practice starts tonight??

Survey Whore-

2007-06-12T08:28:00.000-05:00

Surveys, quizzes and lists. Three things I cannot pass up doing. So, thank you Kimmah, for the following quiz. For those reading if you want to answer it yourself do it in comments or on your own blog. Happy surveying!

1. Where is your cell phone?
desk

2. You're single/taken?
single

3. Your hair?
long

4. Your mother?
pagent

5. Your father?
strong

6. Your favorite thing?
beach

7. Your dream last night?
balloons

8. Your favorite drink?
vino

9. Your dream car?
denali

10. The room you're in?
office

11. Your ex?
alcoholic

12. Your fear?
height

13. Where were you last night?
baseball

14. what you're not?
blind

15. Muffins?
carbs

16. One of your wish list items?
floors

17. The last thing you did?
talk

18.What are you wearing?
crocs

19. Your pet or pets?
jack

20. Your computer?
lifesupport

21. Your life?
full

22. Your mood?
hopeful

23. Missing some one?
yes

24. Your car?
filthy

25. Your work?
crazy

26.Like someone?
crush

27. Your favorite color?
amethyst

28. When is the last time you laughed real hard?
hooters

29. Crush's first name?
secret

30. Dream job?
designer

What constitutes the game of like??

2007-06-07T22:59:00.001-05:00

How does it play for guys? What are their rules? Does 42 minutes on the phone starting at 11:10 pm count? How about always returning phone calls? How about the fact that he has the same priorities as me when it comes to cleaning bedrooms? Clothes everywhere and an empty dresser..Yet the important things are at arms reach like trophies and momentos..How about the fact that we've had a running inside joke for like 2 weeks now? What about still calling me by a name that very few do even knowing the history of that nickname? How about answering the phone while changing clothes?

Even if I'm reading too much into things I must say that there's a lot to be said for making me smile. Especially today.

Attention All-Closure has happened!

2007-06-05T21:27:00.000-05:00

I thought I was pretty slick and was going to be able to keep DB at arms length. No such luck-I realized that I had left my fleece at his house a couple months back and I needed it back. Desperately. I couldn't let it go-I covet this fleece hoodie.

So, knowing I dressed to kill yesterday I called him to see if he'd meet me after work to give it to me. Not only did I get my fleece but I was able to kiss him good-bye and realized there was nothing behind it for me. Woo-Freaking-Hoo!! I also got my sweet bit of revenge because it was said that he hoped I was changing before baseball because of all those baseball dads. Hehehehe..

So, in conclusion I got a favorite article of clothing back as well as closure and my heart is intact.

So..Nothing ventured Nothing gained right???

2007-06-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

I was bold last night-Totally fearless (for me) in fact. Until my phone trilled and I had a response via text message. It took me several minutes to work up the courage to check it. After much thought I realized the response that was given was not what I wanted to hear but it was better. It isn't something that you text besides being too many letters for a text it is something to be said in person.

I watched him coach tonight. I forgot how good he is with the kids. I forgot about how passionate he is with the sport. At one point he looked over at me, grinned and I realized that I was gone.

Did I tell you he calls me by my nickname when it's just us talking? You know that four letter adaptation of my name that only those who know me in my online community and very few IRL call me? I don't know how he picked up on it or where it came from but it sounds good coming from him. That in itself is enough to make me melt.

Tonight

2007-06-03T22:16:00.000-05:00

I kept the phrase 'nothing ventured is nothing gained' in the forefront of my brain. So far, no changes. Except the fact that I could melt for this one. Who am I kidding-I am. I have been bold tonight, we'll see if it works it my favor. Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

It has also been a horrific night. One of the most special people I know at baseball resigned from the Board tonight. This man is overworked and under-appreciated. His departure was shocking for everyone in the room except the martyr acting power loving husband and wife team who don't have a brain cell between them.

I should stop drinking the wine and go to bed but the Sox and Yanks are tied and if they Yankees win then I'll scream

So much I want to say but

2007-06-03T15:41:00.001-05:00

when I sit here to type it won't come out my fingers. I fear jinxing it. I will say this, I have never looked this forward to a board meeting before. Nor have I kept this quiet about someone before and if I want to be truly honest with myself I became a little wonky over him last year..

Closure-

2007-06-01T10:57:00.001-05:00

I don't even want to look through this blog to see how much I mention DB or what I even say. Thankfully, when I started in my new beautiful journal I didn't include him. I will always always always have a place for him in my heart but I can't be with him. I just need closure, that's all. I used to think I just needed to kiss him one last time but I don't think that's it. That would be detrimental though I do dream of it still. Today I realized my closure is coming in the form of someone who makes me smile and thinks my boys are cool. In fact my boys think he's pretty cool too. There are no pretenses no tension and we may end up just being friends but that's okay too. I like his company. He may not know everything about me like DB does but who really needs to know everything? That's what best friends are for. Maybe that's what DB was meant to be to me anyways.

I know I'm a flighty Gemini who has gone through men-You don't need to remind me. I just haven't found what I wanted yet and when my stomach gets that panicky anxious knot I know to run-Which I do well. I enjoy debauchery from time to time too but who knows what the future holds. For now I'm just going to sit back, quit trying to figure it out, and let life unfold. I'd give up my debauchery for this one. (Am I admitting this outloud? I need to stop jinxing myself!)

You make me smile-

2007-05-31T13:29:00.000-05:00

Some kind of light
at the end
I'm touching
the edge of her skin

Once so hard to speak
Now so easy to play around
Catching your eye you know
That eye that slapped you in your face
and called you a puppy
Well how do you say
I was hypnotized
Hypnotized

My words, they pour
Like children to the playground
Children to the playground
You make me smile

There's some kind of light at the end
Stoned, forgetful, and then
I'm drinking what used to be sin
And touching the edge of her skin

And could you be the one that's not afraid
To look me in the eyes
I swear I would collapse
If I would tell how I think you fell
From the sky

Yeah my words, they pour
Like children to the playground
Children to the playground
You make me smile

There's some kind of light at the end
Stoned, forgetful, and then
I'm drinking what used to be sin
And touching the edge of her skin

There's some kind of light at the end
Stoned, forgetful, and then
I'm drinking what used to be sin
And touching the edge of her skin

It's the feeling I get
My palms with sweat
Like some kind of daydream
I'll never forget
I'm stuck in this spin
Why does it begin
By touching the edge of her skin

There's some kind of light at the end
Stoned, forgetful, and then
I'm drinking what used to be sin
And touching the edge of her skin

There's some kind of light at the end
Stoned, forgetful, and then
I'm drinking what used to be sin
And touching the edge of her skin

"You Make Me Smile" Blue October

One of my truly favoritest songs right now. It's the title, the words, the everything about it that I just love. It doesn't hurt knowing that it reminds me of someone that not only makes me smile but makes me and everyone around him feel good. He's a good man. (Which in my world means taken or gay.) Even as a friend he is wonderful. That is something that I have been missing for awhile.

I have always been one who associates music to life. It has always been my comfort and companion. I believe there is a song for every situation and everyone. So for now I am off to listen to my playlist for May since it ends today before I switch up for June! One thing is for sure though, I will not be able to lose this song from my playlist for now!

Ramblings on a late night:

2007-05-27T11:54:00.000-05:00

-Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of the best movies ever. Totally misunderstood. I love this movie. Every time I watch it I find something new. Note to self: Must buy this movie and quit renting it! (We still monkeys all the time. Right Lunchbox?? and BooBoo Kitty F*CK!!!) This movie has great lines.

-The bubs have been gone all weekend and will be back in the morning. I have missed them insanely but it's been a nice weekend.

-Working in my yard is a true stress reliever. I have found my nirvana. Now if only the leaves would disappear on their own.

-Jack the wonder dog loves the park and hamburgers--Though I'm not sure in what
order...The park has more squirrels than he can chase, and lots of spots to leave p-mail yet a hamburger has him on his knees.

-Text messaging-What is the protocol? Do you need to respond? Or can you just read and move on? Personally, I've been ignoring a few today. They're idiots and I just cannot respond.

-I cannot shake DB. Just when a weekend without my bubs comes up and I'm not thinking of him, why does he text me? Why does he take my stupid bait and take my 'If you miss me, call me and tell me." and call me?!?!? And not just call to talk he calls to tell me he misses me. I just wish I could draw a line and stay on my side of it or at least figure out how to get over him.

-Friendly or flirty?? That is the question. I wish I knew the answer. Though I'm enjoying the conversation either way.

-One of my dearest friends got married this weekend. I wish I had been there but I know she's happy now and her family is complete. She deserves all of it.

Haunting my email box-

2007-05-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

and unfortunately it's still empty. Will I get a response today? Maybe. Or will I have to hold out until tomorrow and hope I hear back by then. Until then I'll just read and re-read the previous correspondence and and wonder if I'm reading too much into it.

Off to check my empty email box again. You never know, someone might like me today!

Speechless

2007-05-22T23:23:00.000-05:00

If you can imagine that. Crash was pretty rotten this morning. In fact it would a better description to call him the anti-christ after this morning. I have been clockwatching today dreading the moment I was going to have to become a parent again tonight until I got a phone call from him.

In his smallest sweetest voice he explained how sorry he was and how stressed he was this morning over schoolwork and how he was really sorry and loved his mimi. *Swoon* His sincerity blew me away. It was then I realized that he's growing up and maturing. His apologies are more carefully constructed than they were when he was younger but no less sincere.

PS-I accepted.

In Honor of my Sweet Friend-

2007-05-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

No words necessary.

And here's to you Mrs. Robinson

2007-05-13T01:21:00.000-05:00

Hoo Ra for me. A friend of mine re-introduced me to the word debauchery. Debauchery..Debauchery..Let it roll of your tongue-It feels good to say..Debauchery is the extreme indulgence in sensuality..How I do love being debaucherous..(Is that even a word?)

Thank you to my sweet sweet SK...Please tell me you've been debaucherous too..I'd hate to think I brought sexy back all by myself..

Fairy Tales Bah Humbug-

2007-05-11T21:26:00.000-05:00

That fairy tale lasted all of a nanosecond. I have been officially stood up. Not because he has his daughter or some other really good reason but for the fact that he's decided to get up a 4am to go fucking turkey hunting. Did I get a phone call? Nope, a text message.

Today has hit an all time low not only did I come in 2nd place (at least) to killing a f'ing bird I:

1. Got cursed out by my boss for something that I didn't do or create. The apology didn't help either. He crossed a line with what he said. If I didn't need employment this badly I would have walked.
2. Had to look at my pissed off X when he got the boys and his pissed off enabling mother. Guess they finally realized who's the boss now. Neither one of them.
3. My X owes so much $$ in child support and medical bills that if he paid me lump sum everything he owes I'd be on Easy Street for a little while. But of course you know business is slow...Of course he didn't pay it today.
4. My heart got stomped on once again. I should've learned by now.

I just can't catch a break.

Well gang this is it..

2007-05-10T23:58:00.000-05:00

He took a step. Albeit a baby step but a step none the less. Not only did he initiate a phone call today (*gasp* not a text!) but after some bonding over a common aggravation with my boss he got around to the real reason of the phone call. To see if I was free this weekend. He was rather pleased that I don't have plans for Friday night and that I don't have ball commitments until late on Saturday afternoon too. We'll talk tomorrow and 'firm up' plans as he puts it.

I'm trying not to let myself get carried away yet again over DB but it's hard. He has a way with me like no one else. How is it that this man can know so much about me, including my tendency to over analyze and over think, and still keep coming back for more?

Damn him for sneaking into my head and burying himself in my thoughts. I can't shake him-Not that I want to. Not just yet. I need a fairy tale for a little while.

My Interview By SK

2007-05-05T23:39:00.000-05:00

1. What is your warmest memory of high school?

I've pondered this question for several days now and I honestly cannot come up with one warm memory from high school. My fondest thoughts from that time always include my best friend at the time but they never occurred at school.

2. If you could only have one pair of shoes for the rest of your life, what would they be and why?

You're joking right? Only one pair? I may not be Imelda Marcos but I have an unhealthy addiction to shoes. I can't walk past a shoe display in a store without stopping to touch. It drives my poor kids crazy. They've even gone so far as to make me promise not to stop and look at shoes while out shopping..But I digress..where were we? Only one pair..That would have to be a pair of black Mary Janes. They're a classic shoe yet still look fashionable. They go with everything from jeans to skirts. Very versatile and way comfortable.

3. What's your favorite Neil Diamond song? Don't tell me you don't have one, EVERYONE has one - just fess up already and tell me what it is..

Call me generic and boring but it'd have to be 'Sweet Caroline'. No matter what mood I'm in this song always always cheers me up and makes me feel like smiling. I can hear him belting out the chorus now.."sweet carrolineee"...I'm off to download it now..

4. If you were to get a tattoo .. say, while visiting a rockin' mama in August, what would you get?

Well, it would have to have a special meaning as the only one I have has a special dual meaning. It would have to be something unique and symbolic. My current tattoo is the Celtic motherhood knot for the obvious reason and it also ties me into 2 very special friends who got the same tattoo at the same time. Every time I see it I remember our wonderful time in NM. And Miss D in her pink Diva glasses getting inked.

Does this question mean that a certain rockin' mama is wanting to get inked in August??? Because I could be swayed...

5. If you were stuck in a Groundhog's Day type of situation, repeating the same day over and over again, what day would you want to repeat? What did you do on that day?

After much thought, it would have to be the NM GTG. It was a magical time with my sisters (or partners in crime depending how you look at it!) I got to spend a short period of time with women who had been a part of my life for so long yet we had never met in real life. Between the beautiful scenery, watching hot air balloons at sunrise, Motley Crue, drinking margaritas and lots of wine or maybe it was playing "I never" or sitting outside smoking endless cigarettes talking into the night. This is what I want to relive-It was one of the most beautiful but shortest times of my life.

For those wondering it's called a chain interview. If you feel the desire to be interviewed by my (as I did by SK) just leave the comment 'interview me'and I'll oblige by emailing you your own questions and you can post your answers on your blog.

What I love on a Saturday..

2007-05-05T21:28:00.000-05:00

1. Spending all day (albeit rainy) at the ball field watching the boys play.

2. Crash as Starting Pitcher and doing pretty good too. He's never seriously pitched before now but he did okay.

3. Watching 3 little boys play wall ball, giggling and doing boyishly goofy dance moves when they think no one is looking

4. Watching Crash crank the ball to the fence and slide and flip into 2nd base and making it barely in the nick of time.

5. Coming home after a day of ball and curling up with Crash to catch up on some tv.

6. Watching John Cusack in 'The Ice Harvest' with a sleeping Crash beside me and Turtle and his best friend giggling in the other room.

I love Saturdays with my boys.

7. Knowing that my kids may not be perfect but they are good kids and will turn out just fine. They've got me to make sure of that.

Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am..

2007-04-24T12:40:00.000-05:00

For those of us who follow the Bo Sox do I need to say anything more? Not only did the boys have their FIRST Fenway Park sweep of the Yankees since 1990 they made history and tied a MLB record with not one, not two, not three but can we say FOUR consecutive home runs!

Their streak started with Manny driving the ball over left center field and onto Lansdowne Street and if that wasn't enough Drew stepped up to the plate and slammed it over the bull-pen in right center and into the stands. Next in line was Lowell who smacked it over the wall in left field and tied the game. Finally, last but never least, Tek stepped up to bat and slammed it straight into the Monster Seats to pull them into the lead. My hat is off to you boys, job well done.

Disappointing and pathetic yet not suprising..

2007-04-20T23:26:00.000-05:00

With a title like that those who know me know where this post is headed. One would think when you lose custody and all of a sudden have a whole boatload of restrictions you'd take a step back and re-evaluate your life without your children. Yet not even a month from losing all control in their lives he's at it again. He cannot control his out of control lifestyle. Among other things the girlfriend (which they say isn't his gf yet he calls her gf???) who laid hands on Crash and Turtle is still in the picture. Though I can guarantee that she will NEVER get near them again. It may mean starting a Bail Fund and memorizing the important phone numbers for when I get that one phone call but she will not be a part of their lives.

Though I must say that knowing that I have the power to legally protect my children from his pathetic downward spiral gives me a sense of relief that I've never been able to feel before. It will take some getting used to realizing that he is just a visitor not a guardian. I wonder when it will sink in with him..

Upon reading my own blog I realized something-

2007-04-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

I was pretty snarky the other day. Chalk it up to wanting to go get my coffee on the way to work on by myself and being violated by the stalking smother-er. Unfortunately that is my only 'alone time' until late at night and I'm pretty protective of it.

Anyways, I said something that I need to clarify-Not for all 4 people who read my blog but for myself. One of my reasons for u-turning (BTW I did that u-turn in record time!) the other day was We aren't in the same place right now. He's wanting to give someone his heart and I'm not wanting to give anyone anything. That's not entirely true. I want to be able to give myself to someone but it seems that everytime I do I've made yet another bad choice. I think I've taken the crown in that pageant. That and the fact that there needs to be something there to want to take that step. That step just isn't done in a month-At least not in my book. I need a sign, a spark, a something. I'm not meant to be hum drum and boring which would have been the case if I hadn't cut and run.

Enough rambling, I need more caffiene.

Get a clue-

2007-04-07T22:14:00.000-05:00

Turtle and I were at the public library the other night killing time while waiting on Crash's Scout Meeting to end. Now mind you the library is one of my absolute favorite places to be and thankfully Turtle feels the same. Though this night I left with a bad taste in my mouth.

For those who don't know him Turtle for all of his silliness is a very intelligent child. He thinks on a totally different plane than most people I know. I tend to refer to it as the ADHD brain. He also picks topics you don't expect out of an 8 year old to learn about i.e. the Holocaust, DNA, Iwo Jima, and now Kim Jung-il. Once he gets on a topic watch out! Not to mention for 8 years old he reads at an almost 10th grade level.

Anyways, he wanted books on Kim Jung-il so we went to the adult resource desk together and he asked for what he wanted. The man behind the counter gave me a quizzical look and I explained that it was fine and he was interested in the dictator. He looks it up for us and tells Matthew that the shorter books are already checked out and all that's left are some that are 200-400 pages. Turtle's response: "That's okay. I read at a 9.5 grade level."

While taking us to where the books were on the shelf he continued to talk Turtle out of them. So much so that when he left us at the shelf Turtle declined them b/c the librarian said they were too big.

I have never wanted to complain about a librarian until then. Who is he to decide whether a book is too much for a child when the parent is standing right there okaying the book and explaining what the child enjoys reading?? I could almost understand if he was unaccompanied or if he didn't vocalize his needs and reasons already but damn talk about judging a book by its cover.

I've already set the book up for transfer to our normal library so Turtle's thirst for knowledge on Kim Jung-il will be satisfied. Though I have to wonder after he's had his fill what his next subject will be? And I wonder when he'll want to start his version of the election coverage...You don't even want to know how vocal he was with his opinions at the polls during our last governor's election. All I'll say is that he has some strong opinions and not every adult in the room thought he was amusing.

By the Way...I almost forgot..

2007-04-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

After over 8 months of hell justice prevailed a week ago. After 5 excruciating hours of having my adrenalin pump non stop it was not only decided that I am the one and only but that I also "call the shots".

It was interesting to watch karma bite them in the ass. Not only did they heap lie upon lie their very own words came back to haunt them. Finally the control freak is not in control. He cannot and will not dominate us again. And for the first time in I don't know how long I feel empowered. I don't need someone to stand behind anymore.

Bad Boys Bad Boys

2007-04-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I was alone at work enjoying the solo time. I had my tunes cranked and was in my own little world until a SUV rolls up and out jump two guys w/ badges around their necks.

My first thought?
Oh F&^% it's INS..We're being raided.

My 2nd thought?
Why did my boss choose today of all days to leave early??

Although my panic attack over the thought of INS wanting to check my employee files to make sure all the boys are legal was unwarranted it was still a bit creepy.

Turns out they were Virginia's version of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Oh joy. And they were looking for someone who hasn't worked for us in over a year. Whew! I gave them all the info I had on the guy (which wasn't much) and they were on their merry way to find the bail jumping, drug dealing, police officer assaulting creep. The funniest part? The big scary guy gave me his card and his nickname was "Tiny"..Talk about irony.

My job may suck at times but at least it's never dull.

10 Things--I challenge you!

2007-04-04T11:35:00.000-05:00

While procrastinating at work I realized that my fellow blogger, Kimmah, had a good idea with posting 10 Things You Don't Know About Me. Below I've listed my 10 things and I challenge my other blogging buddies to do the same!

Ten Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I bought a new remote for my bedroom tv back in October-I've yet to program it and use it.

2. I kept a pair of the X's cargo shorts. Not for sentimental reasons but for the simple fact that they looked kind of good on me in a skater girl kind of way and I wanted them.

3. I still dream of doing something in fashion like I did as a little girl.

4. I removed my piercing-Though I think I'd like to do it again...

5. I love word games.

6. I have started writing my 'novel'.

7. I still haven't finished Turtle's baby quilt..He'll be 9 in July.

8. I love to sing in the car.

9. I'm obsessive and dramatic.

10. I love to dance around my house with my tunes cranking.

Baseball is in the air and I can't stop breathing it in-

2007-04-04T11:03:00.000-05:00

Our Little League season starts on Saturday with our annual Opening Day Parade followed by an entire day of beloved baseball. My other child, Princess, is playing tball this year, Turtle has been moved up to Minor-Majors (Kid Pitch) and Brain is playing in the Majors.

I can't wait to:

-Smell the fresh cut grass of our Major Field

-Watch my boys in their 4th and 8th Opening Day Ceremony. It's amazing how grown up they seem now in their uniforms.

-Watch the t-ballers in their first Opening Day Parade.

-Open the fresh new scorebook and start keeping score for a new season. (I liken it to starting a new journal.)

-Set up my camp chair beside the dugout, like always, and root for my teams.

-The sun to warm my body and start my tan for the year.

-Buy a large amount of sunflower seeds and start eating them as I do during baseball. I have found this is the best way for me to keep out of trouble with my mouth at the field.

-Watch my cautious Brain turn into a total maniac on the field. It doesn't matter how big the opponent is when they're sliding into home plate and he's catching he becomes this fierce fearless man child.

-Watch my Turtle change from silly smiling boy he is into the "serious" ball player.

Ah my dear sweet Mama Kohl-You've inspired me:

2007-04-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

Reasons to "date" younger:

1. They won't call you in the morning.

2. No matter how much experience they have-You have more. So therefore you become the teacher.

3. They don't want a relationship.

4. Gravity hasn't hit them yet.

5. They're gung-ho and persistent.

6. They've got energy.

7. They ask the darndest things.

8. They send the cutest little text messages.
And my most favorite of all...

They won't stalk you at your favorite morning coffee stop!!!

And the flighty Gemini is back!!!!

2007-04-02T22:55:00.000-05:00

Oh thank heavens-I am back. The commit-o-phobe is back and better than ever. I was begininng to get worried too. As for X, I have finally learned to u-turn and for several reasons. Here goes:

1. He's a smother-er
2. Ever heard of the Virgin Theory? It's no longer a theory-It's a fact.
3. We aren't in the same place right now. He's wanting to give someone his heart and I'm not wanting to give anyone anything.
4. Sybil-She's worse. Was nasty to me in front of Turtle the other day-And Turtle not only picked up on it but keeps bringing it up as it puzzles him.
5. I'm not ready to tell my kids I'm dating someone they know AND in continuing to do so I have to. Why would I have to do something I'm not prepared to do? Because his stupid X doesn't understand the difference b/t too much info and honesty. The kids do not need to know every detail of our lives which she feels needs to be done.
6. He's taken to showing up at my fave morning haunt. And I've given up Starbucks for Lent but I may have to take it back just to avoid him in the morning. I feel violated.

I swear I'm not just looking for reasons to ditch and run for cover. I just cannot deal with all of the above. I've tried to make it loud and clear but I'm going to have to draw pictures..I can see it now.

Things on my mind today:

2007-03-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

1. I want to know when the Tool got his medical degree. He seems to think even though 3 DOCTORS have ordered Turtle to not have dairy it's okay to give it to him. The poor kid doesn't have any issues until 24 to 48 hours after being in the care of that imbecile as they let him have dairy. Jerks.

2. Fantasy Baseball-I need to set up a league, pick my draft etc..It's that time of year!!

3. Work-Hectic and crazy. I'm killing time now before I leave. I cannot start anything new.

4. The Parthenon-Brain has a scaled model of this due MONDAY for Foreign Language Week. Thanks Nana, for giving him the idea, materials needed and then dumping it on me.

5.Little League Board of Directors-It's becoming a PITA b/c of two people who insist on fighting with everyone.

6.I had lunch with X today-He's such a sweet guy. No alone time until the last weekend of the month..We'll see how that goes.

And finally...

When is TRU going to clearance out the Drew Bledsoe figures so I can see spending $$ on it to ship to my fave Cowboy fan??

Do Our Astrology Signs really tell something about us?

2007-03-06T10:29:00.000-05:00

I've always been interested in Astrology and all it entails. The thought that we fit the descriptions of our astrological signs has always intrigued me. A friend and I were recently discussing whether we fit the descriptions of our astrology signs or not. The fact that she wasn't sure of the qualities of her sign, Virgo, got me curious. I had to find out whether she fit her astrological sign. So in the manner of fair play I pulled hers and mine just to see how accurate they are.

Hers:
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Virgo is the sixth Sign of the Zodiac, to be exact, and that's the way Virgos like it: exacting. Those born under this Sign are forever the butt of jokes for being so picky and critical (and they can be), but their 'attention to detail' is for a reason: to help others. Virgos, more than any other Sign, were born to serve, and it gives them great joy. They are also tailor-made for the job, since they are industrious, methodical and efficient. The sense of duty borne by these folks is considerable, and it ensures that they will always work for the greater good.

Virgo is represented in modern Astrology by the Virgin, although this association should not be taken literally. Rather, Virgos tend to take on some of the qualities of a Virgin, things like modesty and humanity. Some might consider them repressed, although Virgins would argue that it's a noble quality, as opposed to a negative one. Most of all, Virgos enjoy indulging their practical and logical side and poring over their projects to the nth degree. To say these folks are good at fact-finding almost understates the case, since Virgos revel in their exacting (some would argue pedantic) behavior and are a whiz with minutiae. Virgins are an asset in the workplace as they can be counted on to get things right the first time, every time -- and no detail will be overlooked. They are also balanced and fair in their assessments in keeping with the Mutable Quality assigned to this Sign.

Yes, this is my girl except for one "minor" detail. This girl is not repressed-Or at least not anymore!!! She has been constantly amazing me with her wanton behavior for about a week now..And to think it all started with a pink shirt..

Though Seriously, she is practical and logical and her attention to detail astounds me. Her views are balanced and fair too. Amazing. Right on the mark except for the repression bit.. =)

Me:
Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Gemini is the third Sign of the Zodiac, and those born under this Sign will be quick to tell you all about it. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!

Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.

They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this Sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway

As I read this I kept nodding my head in agreement. Wishy washy, changing moods on a whim,fickle, restless, a surplus of imagination, talkative (Who me? She says with feigned innocence!), intellectually inclined.. Though I don't consider myself the life of the party as I'm painfully shy in those situations but I am able to see both sides of most issues.

Oy-the therapy I'll need after self analyzing myself about my Gemini traits today.

Hello, my name is X and I'm a missing blogger...

2007-02-25T01:40:00.000-05:00

Do you realize how many times I've started and stopped a new post or composed the wittiest most amazingly awesome post in my head??? Yet for some reason I haven't been able to get it together enough to come back here and just do it.

I have so many things to update yet all I want to write about is the most wonderful person in my life. My sweet Turtle. With the biggest green eyes I've ever seen surrounded by longest lushest eyelashes that turn up just right when he smiles, a face chock full of sweet freckles and a sweet smile that will light up a room.

I've always known how wonderful and special he is but he has proven himself to me yet again. This week I had a horrible virus and was deathly ill. He sat guard on my bed making sure that I wasn't disturbed and that I had ice cold ginger ale whenever I needed it. Though I felt like I was dying I still had to go into work to print p/r. Who went with me? My faithful sidekick. Who all but drove the car for me? My faithful little sidekick. His exact words to me when I tried to stop him from kissing me? "Mommy, when I'm sick you don't stop kissing me. I don't care if I get sick I'm going to take care of you and I'm going to kiss you. I love you. K?"

Here lately he's taken to putting his hand on my hand, my back or my arm and saying 'I love you'. We've always had a connection since before he was born. Most days I could swear the umbilical cord was never cut and I'd sue but it was cut by his father. He is usually never far from my side and has a jealous streak over any other child besides his brother getting my attention.

As I sit here waxing poetic about my baby he's snoring on the other end of the couch with his feet tucked up under me..Too freakin' cute!

Another end of the spectrum

2007-01-16T03:16:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my sweet Texas sister for introducing me to this song. I love the song and it doesn't hurt that KC is easy on the eyes..

Let's play a game-

2007-01-14T15:46:00.000-05:00

A game called Remember this SONG??? It keeps in line (Somewhat) with the original but the metal head in me definitely likes this version better.

Saturday Night and I'm feelin' alright-

2007-01-13T20:53:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. Nowhere we really had to be, no one we had to see. The boys & I went to Lowe's this morning for their kids workshop. My daddy was running it so they got to build these cool coin boxes with him. Then it was off to Wally World to stock up on the essentials: dog treats, tp, cleaning supplies, wine and coffee creamer. You know-The things we can't live without! Naturally we spent more time in the toy department than anywhere else as the boys tried to wheel and deal their allowance that hasn't been earned yet.

We ended up at the library-One of my most favorite places in the world-for awhile and then meandered home. I love being able to go with the bubs now. I'm not stuck in the Children's section I can peruse the library without a whiny child attached to me. I was in a groove cleaning and jamming out on Jane's Addiction when Crash decides that we must listen to TSO. Didn't he get the memo? As much as I love their music I'm burned out. That was all we listened to from Thanksgiving on in this house. I guess it's payback for taking the Disturbed cd to work and leaving it there. Note to self: Rip the Disturbed cd to work computer and bring it home so Crash will stop complaining!!

I guess I better get my cleaning groove back on. Being sick for the past week and a half has not helped my house in any way shape or form. Besides I want to be able to sit down and enjoy the Patriots playoff game tomorrow. Go PATS!!

Now all I need to do is stop blogging and chatting online and I'll be good..

Adios!

Hmmmmm....

2007-01-10T20:00:00.000-05:00

I haven't spoken or text messaged with DB since December 26th. No, I'm not keeping track I just know it was the day after Christmas. He's been on vacation, I've had kids at work with me, and I've been out with pneumonia for almost a week now. I have also been making a concious decision that he can chase me. I know it sounds bad but I'm working on not being the chaser. I realized I needed to change how I did some things when it came to men since I have such a "great" track record.

As I sit at home tonight on doctor's ordered 'bedrest' feeling restless and lonely and starting to have my own special pity party; my cell phone suddenly rings. It's a text message..As I start to retrieve it I am quietly hoping it's DB but am not holding my breath. (I affectionately refer to him as my favorite commitophobe or puppet master.) It could be my BF who has been on a suicide watch since the Boys lost on Saturday or it could be my brother, the local idiot, who leaves me stupid text messages regarding vegetables and sausage..As it opens my heart sings! It IS DB!! He is hoping I feel better etc..I'm smiling again!! He still thinks of me!

I have missed our long conversations and his sense of humor among other things. I miss him.

And for those who know me so well and worry about me falling head over heels without another rational thought on the subject please don't fear. I'm not falling-Just cautiously floating for now.

The Best December Ever-

2006-12-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

December 2006 was a spectacular month-And not just in my house. One of my dearest friends finally had her dream come true. After many years of yearning she now has her beautiful little angel. In fact, she is the most beautiful angel I have ever seen. This little angel was meant to be hers. It's no longer a table for three for them! Love you Momma of Two!!

My Brain has suddenly turned into this handsome sensitive man child. When he awoke on his 12th birthday (My Christmas Angel) I realized that there might not be many more mornings of him waking up wanting his back scratched or 2 more minutes of snuggles before we start our day. I mourn for the loss of my baby, yet I look forward to watching him find his way in this world.

My Turtle has always been a loving little Momma's boy but this year he got to go shopping for his Mommy for Christmas-Something he has never done before. I have never seen the disillusioned and overworked cashiers/boxers at Price Club move so quickly to help a little guy keep a gift from his mother hidden from her. I have also never been banished to the far end of a store so that he could shop without me. As it turns out he not only got me a Willow Tree Angel for my collection (He chose one that meant something for the both of us.) he picked out a *beautiful* silver Mothers charm bracelet for me. Brain was a wonderful and thoughtful boy again this year too. He picked out another Willow Tree Angel and bought me a new journal so that I can continue my ramblings into 2007.

I have also found that I can enjoy someones company and not feel like I'm jumping onto the relationship train. I have found that dating is not such a terrible thing and that I can do it without all of the drama I feared would follow.

Christmas was a holiday filled with old and new traditions. It was the first Christmas the boys and I were 'on our own' in probably 5 or 6 years. We started a new tradition-Christmas Eve Dinner before Mass with my parents and brother at our house. Even though Turtle sang at last year's Children's Mass this one was just as special. Brain sang every single song and held the book so I could sing too as Turtle had curled up in my lap to sleep before it even started. My annual tradition of wrapping like a mad woman Christmas Eve held true this year-I was wrapping and watching movies until the early hours of Christmas Day. I awoke to the boys jumping all over me in excitement and Brain having made my coffee. The unwrapping of the prezzies was glorious-The pure excitement on both of their faces with every gift rivaled any Christmas *ever*.

I spent the last Saturday of December with two of my closest friends in our nation's capital for the Trans Siberian Orchestra's final concert of 2007. Again it was a kick ass show-Even better than the one we saw earlier in December if that is possible. Though I tend to think our mindset before, during and after the show was a huge part of our killer time. It was a kid-free 25 hours and it was wonderful! Peachtinis at the hotel bar, over packed Metro trains with football fans heading to a game (Yay Giants!!), the hilarious guy rapping for booze money outside the Verizon Center, yummy burritos, great music, great wine, meeting new people as well as getting to know some I had already met, more great wine and card games into the night, waking up without kids, a decadent and leisurely breakfast before heading home..It was a well deserved break for all of us and something we need to do more often than every 3 years.

You would think that after such a wonderful month we'd try be rocking out on the last night of 2006. Nope we were very low key. We munched Chinese take out and hung out with friends until some of the kids were too tired to play nice and Brain and I rung in the New Year snuggled on our own sofa with our trusty doggy asleep at our feet and Turtle tucked in his bed fast asleep.

As I ponder my list of resolutions/goals for 2007 trying to make them obtainable I realize that 2007 is going to be a spectacular year for the Three Musketeers.

"Mom! You look like a diva!!"

2006-12-08T10:38:00.000-05:00

Says my Brain this morning after I came downstairs dressed nice for work for a change. It's called multi tasking-I have to work and go on a date so why not just start the day off feeling pretty darn good? And if the almost 12 year old thinks I'm diva material then who's to argue? Since we all now how picky 12 year old boys can be!

Though Turtle was offended that his mother was referred to as a Diva as "Divas show their goodies Momma". =) My ever vigiliant protector and prude.

I hope their weekends turn out alright. Brain has a Scout campout but the fact that his father (and the term is used loosely) is now 'sick' and may not be going will crush him. He's so sensitive and anxiety prone that he'll be devastated if he's let down again. Turtle decided we should give Brain part of his birthday present early today to head off any self pity parties. It's a Camelbak water reservoir/backpack thing. Cool beans-I love this thing. I want one!

As for Turtle, he's going with his paternal grandmother to bake cookies, go to a Christmas party and be the special only one for the weekend. Though I have to say this is the first time I can think of that she wants to do something with him-Not just buy him junk in place of time. The only thing that can put a kink in that is their 'father' again.

Anyways, off to get back to work-I've procrastinated enough today. I'm off to enjoy my Mocha w/ extra caffiene (Thanks Wawa!) and try to scrounge enough moula to pay payroll on Monday.

Happy Weekend to All!!

I am a woman obsessed:

2006-12-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

The objects of my obsession are as follows in no particular order:

1. Dallas Cowboys-Romo Rocks! For that matter TO is just endearing himself to me everytime I see him. Who would've thought the Drama Queen from Phillie would make me smile?? (Don't even say it T-I know I know!)
2. My date tomorrow night-Will Friday hurry up and get here already?!?!? We're supposed to get together Saturday evening too since we're both kid free this weekend..
3. NY Giants-Manning, Shockey & Burress make me happy..Too bad Tiki is retiring.
4. Chai Tea-Yummm..I need to stock some here at work.
5. Edy's Peppermint Ice Cream-Once a year I buy it and it's sooo worth the $4 a container.
6. Christmas--Is it here yet? I cannot wait til Christmas morning this year. It's the first year in a long time that the boys & I are on our own again. Our traditions only.

Come one come all-

2006-12-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

My house is now visit worthy. It only took a year but allll of the boxes that needed to be unpacked are unpacked, some things are hung on the wall and all I need to do now is finish removing an ugly ass border and tint my paint!

The dog is still confused when he makes the circle from the office to the living room to the hallway to the kitchen and back again without his path being impeded by a box! The only downfall is that all of those boxes in the living room covered the hideous blue carpet-Now I have to not only look at it constantly but dream of a hardwood floor in its place.

It's actually nice to now have a place to curl up and read away from the tv and the boys.

Here's something I didn't think I'd be saying for a Long time..

2006-12-01T10:09:00.000-05:00

I've got a serious case of the likes going on. There is a constant smile on my face these days. I get giddy when the phone rings and it's him. I've asked all the important questions and so far no skeletons. No dui's, no suspended license, doesn't live with his mother, doesn't rely on his mother for income, isn't a Gemini, the only blip on the radar is getting in trouble with the law at the beach 5 or more years ago for fighting. The positives definitely outweigh-owns his own home, owns rental property, helps out his parents, has a great relationship with his daughter, he's tall-I have a thing for tall men among many other things. But the best positive is that we've known each other for 7 years and he knows what a rambling nut I can be already. He also knows what a fuck-up my ex is and that my boys mean more than anything else to me. It's almost comfortable. Though I am waiting for the other shoe to drop as I don't make good relationship choices (Just check out my track record.). I keep the fuck ups and have somehow mucked up w/ the good ones.

Never fear-I'm having fun for the moment. I deserve a little bit of it. For now I've found myself a small slice of happiness and I intend to enjoy it and ride it out. We'll see where it ends up with this little city girl and her country boy.

PS- Did I mention that he wouldn't mind having another kid one day? Good thing we're not serious since I don't know where I stand on that.

Happiness Is....

2006-11-30T12:15:00.000-05:00

New Christmas flannel pj pants

Lavendar & Vanilla Scents throughout my house

Turtle sitting beside me and throwing his arm around my shoulder, and twirling my hair as we watch tv

Trans Siberian Orchestra

A Perfect Margarita and a good friend to gab with

Going in my room to find Brain had fallen asleep in my bed and automatically moving to cuddle in his sleep when I laid beside him.

My dog getting his Christmas present early: A visit to the Groomers!

A crackling fire in my fireplace while watching holiday movies with the boys and Jack is asleep at my feet.

Curling up with a good book and a hot cup of tea

The look on Turtle & Brain's faces when they see the tree on Christmas morning

Turtle's love of all books and his thirst for knowledge

Brain's sweet caring soul and his love of taking care of his little cousin

A man who makes me smile, knows me well enough that the newness of it all doesn't feel so frightning

Watching a nail biter football game and enjoying the complexity of the sport

The Giants beating the Boys on Sunday.

And last but never least-This sitting under my tree on Christmas morning:

Christmas is in the air

2006-11-27T10:44:00.000-05:00

Every year I start getting that itch around Turkey Day to start dragging out the decorations, lights and ornaments. The past 3 years we've done an artificial tree but now that I've shaken the dead weight (aka the X) the boys and I have gone back to our tradition of a real tree. I went and picked out the fattest tallest Frasier Fir that I could find. My Living Room smells delicious thanks to that beautimous tree. I cannot wait to string the lights tonight and look at all of our ornaments. Most are made by the boys-Wouldn't have it any other way. It is always a sentimental trip when I start decorating the tree.

My 2nd Annual trek to Garden Ridge went off without a hitch as well. We had a nice day after Turkey Dinner with a couple Disgruntled Elves. (Note-You must try this drink! It is definitely a cup full of cheer!! I will post the recipe.) We cruised through the entire store (no kids) and I drooled over the yard decorations that I cannot have this year. Maybe next year the yard will be done. I did rather well considering they were having their Midnight Madness sale-I loaded up on more decorations, candles etc without going over budget. In fact I think I was under my 'allotted amount'!

I even have made a major dent in shopping for the boys-Including Brain's birthday which is just around the corner. Heck I usually don't get this far ahead in November. I have a feeling this is going to be a great holiday season around our house.

My lunch date/thing/whatever:

2006-11-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

For those who know me well you know what an introvert I really truly am. My personal is personal and I am painfully shy and way to sensitive. The invention of the internet (Who was it that invented the internet anyways? Al Gore? =0P ) is the most wonderful thing-I get human contact without having to put myself out there in person.

So today I had lunch with a really nice guy that I've known for seven years and have mildly flirted with via the telephone for years. (Another great invention!) I was all nerves til I walked in and sat down. Nervous enough to dream of a ciggie for about a millisecond. But thankfully he isn't a smoker either or that would have been all she wrote. It was a nice lunch, there weren't any weird gaps in conversation-We've got too much in common for that-And we'll get together again. Another cool thing is he has his daughter the same weekend I have the boys so we have the same 'kid free' weekends. (Did I mention that the daughter is older-Which means no younger kid baggage like before?) Who knows. Could stay friends could go elsewhere, doesn't bother me either way. He's a really nice guy and here's the key word. Normal. No DUIs, doesn't live with his mother, doesn't rely on his mother for income, owns his own house..Scary isn't it?

Enough babbling for now..I'm off to overanalyze some more! LOL!

The most wonderful thing has happened~

2006-10-31T10:28:00.000-05:00

No, the ex didn't fall off the face of the Earth. Wishful thinking! This is a more reasonable wondrous event!! Several months back I started looking for my best friend from many years ago. The last time we emailed was 2002/2003. I have a recurring dream about seeing him again and every time I wake up from it I am devastated that it was only a dream. He was the one person I could always count on in a crisis. He was the one that knew the real me back then and still was my friend. Anyways, I got a classmates.com account with his high school-He hadn't been there in what seemed forever and it was a shot in the dark. I almost forgot about it until this morning when I opened my email and there he was.

Sorry for the rambling on this but heck, I am just ecstatic to have found him again. Now I'm just killing time until it's late enough in his time zone to call him....

Being a Social Butterfly

2006-10-27T10:38:00.000-05:00

I have looked forward to this weekend for several days now. The boys will be spending the weekend with their father and grandma. I have nothing planned except watching movies, trolling the library for books, working on my house so I can finally paint, and unpacking the last few boxes from our move last December, eating white pizza and drinking lots of red wine. Alone.

So why am I suddenly so anxious about this weekend? For the first time since I don't know when (Last year's company Christmas party.) I've been invited to 2 separate parties this weekend. I'm far from being a social butterfly in fact the thought of having to come up with a costume and flying solo at these events freaks me out. I'm not even sure that I want to go--It's the fear of suddenly realizing that I'm a 30 something single mom who doesn't go out and I fear becoming another woman I know. She's 50 something, single and bitter with the world because she's alone. Though it is entirely her fault-She let herself go and wrapped herself up in raising her youngest child. This is what I fear.

So what to do..what to do..Pull a costume out of my ass and find the extrovert in me and find a party or do I relish the adult alone time I'll be getting all weekend? And if I relish the adult time will I regret not going out Saturday night? And will I suddenly be craving company Saturday night? I need a decision maker.

Not being a Den Leader again..Yeah right.

2006-10-26T10:14:00.000-05:00

Looking back through some of my previous ramblings I found the statement: "I repeat NOT going to be a Den Leader this year.I've done 2 years it's time to be a parent and help that way".

Imagine me falling down now and laughing at my own audacity to even think about not being the Bear Den Leader! What kind of selfish woman am I?? I am the Bear Den Leader with 4 little boys, one of which I haven't seen yet since he's still playing football.

How could this happen you ask? When I was so adamant about not doing it? It's simple, Turtle looked at me with those eyes that are exactly like mine (except he's got longer lashes. Brat!) and said he just wanted me to be his Leader one more time. Throw in a lower lip protruding slightly in sadness and a couple pleaseeee mommas and you've got me agreeing to do it yet again. My reward for falling for the boy's charm yet again-the biggest hug and a huge smak right on the lips.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every minute of it (Just about.) and 3 of the 4 boys are utter angels I just wanted to be a parent again. That'll have to wait til next year..Maybe..

Jack-My TV Dog

2006-10-24T08:29:00.000-05:00

I have seen Jack paying attention to the TV on 2 occasions. Being the good mommy I leave the TV on Animal Planet for him when we leave so he isn't so lonely. I came home late one night and the dog show just happened to be on *again*. Usually when I come home he's all over me-Not this time. This time he is jumping up and down (quite literally) in one place yipping at me from in front of the TV. What kind of dog got him all happy? Another Lab, a shepherd nope a Puli-Who would have thought he'd be ecstatic over a mop dog..

Then last night during the 3rd quarter of the Giants vs Cowboys I look down at my feet to see what the heck he's doing since he hadn't demanded attention in quite awhile. He was watching the football game. Not for a minute or so the rest of the entire football game. Except for the commercial break when he followed me in the kitchen. Wonder who he was rooting for????

Turtle-isms

2006-09-19T09:46:00.000-05:00

(1)Me: "Turtle, it's time for bed. It's a school night."

Turtle: "Give me a 'specific' reason Mom. Being a school night isn't specific."

(2)When discussing which teacher he likes best at his new school: "I really like Ms. X but Mrs. XX is really 'enthusiastic'."

(3)"Mommy I admire you the most but I admired Austin Powers almost as much."

(4)"I'm elated that I can eat dinner"

(5)Turtle: "Mommy, I don't want to live here anymore."
Me:"Why Turtle? This house is ours and I thought you loved it."
Turtle: "I just want to live in the Shire with the Hobbits because it's beautiful there. You know, I'm about the size of an adult hobbit right now."

(6)As for his imaginary friends..Well, they just keep adding family members. Too bad I can't claim them on taxes! It started out innocently with 'Snap' he's been around for awhile but then he needed someone so 'Junior' moved in and not too long ago Turtle decided that they needed a Grandfather so 'Clothesworth' aka the Grandpa has moved in too. They live on his top bunk with all of his many stuffed animals.

I really dread the day that Turtle grows up. It'll be the end of a little boy in my house. Crash has already hit the pre-teen hormones. =(

I didn't fall off the face of the Earth-I just found a little hole

2006-09-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

to hide in for awhile. Times have been really hectic and emotionally weird lately. I've had to get the boys ready to start school-Both are going to new schools and I've been uber stressed for both of them. Nothing like feeling all the anxiety and mixed feelings about where your kids are in life. I've also been dealing with x problems (From here on out he shall be referred to as the tool until I can come up with a better nickname.). There's nothing like having kids with someone who isn't rational, does everything to spite you and doesn't think about their children's well being.

Work has also been rather hellish. With new home construction in the down slide (it's now finally baby stepping back up) we hit a slump at work like I've never seen before. I've been in the new homes business since 1996 and it's always been smokin' around here until the past few months. When the books at work start resembling my personal financial juggling I get nervous. Even more nervous than when mine are threatening to go red.

I've also been doing a crapload of work around the house-My office is decent as is every other room but mine and the Living Room. We've been getting rid of more yard debris, cutting down trees and brush and gearing up for more leaves this Fall and getting prepped to...Are you ready to hear this??? Sure?? My Dad & I are getting ready to put down GRASS SEED in my back yard!!

I know I know it's the simple things right?

Four Days and Counting

2006-07-27T12:05:00.000-05:00

Until vacation! Only four more days and I won't be worried about such trifles as repair jobs that crews keep putting off, unhappy customers, job costing, staring at our dwindling checking account since there is a lull in construction and most of all the *&^%%$%^$ phones that I have to answer.

In four days I will be living in my bathing suit with a margarita not far from my hand with either my feet in the sand or in a lounge chair at the pool. I'll be dividing my time between watching the kids play in the sand and water and reading my stash of Marian Keyes novels that I've been dying to start. And if I finish those I have several others waiting patiently in the wings.

A friend & I are braving camping at the beach with four kids for the week. Now, before you start having heart palpitations and thinking that I'm roughing it-I'm not. Their camper has a/c, small stove, bathroom, fridge etc. Never fear there will be a plug for our blender and coffee pot.

(Just so you know I enjoy roughing it while camping but only in the Fall, Winter or early Spring. Otherwise it's too damn hot to enjoy it. That and with someone else who enjoys the cooking aspect of it.)

This will also be my first "vacation" in a long time that I will not be running all over the place. It will be relaxing and non-productive. Last year's vacation to Myrtle Beach would have been that had it been just my boys & I-No X. His constant need to go-go-go is something I don't miss. The boys and I are already planning next years trip to MB-I offered saving for Disney or somewhere else but they want to go back to Myrtle Beach. They're their momma's beach babies.

I'm also leaving the trusty always by my side laptop at home too. It's just one more way for me to check in at work and not veg out with my friend and the kids. Besides if anything happens in the world that I must surely know about I'll still have my cell phone.

Things that are aggravating me today-

2006-07-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

1-Men who feel that their children are objects-Not people. I am tired of having to explain that my children are scheduled to visit during X time, and no, that it's not acceptable to put cleaning your Mommy's pool and drinking ahead of your children and move that time frame.

2-Same men in #1 who feel that we should be understanding and sympathetic that they haven't had any work (Try getting a real job instead of sitting around saying 'I'm my own boss.') due to not being able to drive blah blah blah and that they cannot pay their child support in a timely manner because of this.

3-Entitlement. I am surrounded by people who feel entitled but one keeps coming to the front of my mind today. My ex feels he's entitled to whatever he wants in the house. He keeps demanding to add thingsto a 'list' he keeps rattling off to me, he won't put it in writing and I'm sorry since when you do deserve everything worth anything in the house?? Does he forget the DUI that cost me a vehicle, cancelled insurance and raised auto insurance rates? How about the month of support he was behind on b/c he was in jail? I am not his mother (Thank God) who is his enabler.

4-Golf. Tired tired tired of golf. I'm not understanding how people I work with can spend the whole day on the golf course w/ each other-Not customers and it's acceptable. It's discrimination against those who don't play golf. We don't get the same privileges.

5-Weight Gain-Why oh why can't the 15 lbs. I picked up somewhere disappear like they did before I turned 30? Before 30 I could eat what I wanted, whenever I wanted, and not gain. Or if I gained it was lost quickly and painlessly. Now, it seems as though the part of my brain that stopped me from eating during stress has decided that food is my friend in times of crisis. I guess I really must start watching what I'm eating or else I'll end up being someone I don't want to be. Damn.

Reading Lists:

2006-07-20T11:21:00.000-05:00

Our school system has a required summer reading program. My rising 3rd grader has to read 5 books and my rising 6th grader has to read 2 to 5 depending on size and difficulty. What amazes me is what Turtle is reading. His current books include:

-The Count of Monte Cristo
-Freckle Juice
-Spyderwick Series
-The Last of the Mohicans

And I really had to push the Freckle Juice book because it's light and on the reading list. After seeing him read these books on his own it got me wondering where he scored on his PALS testing this Spring so I got the school to fax the results to me. He has a 97% accuracy of reading & context at a 5th grade level and a 96% at a 6th. No freakin' wonder he wants nothing to do with the books on the rising 3rd grade list (ex: Nate the Great, Magic Tree House, Arthur books, Strega Nona and Flat Stanley). I'm just happy that one of my boys loves to read like their Momma. Crash likes to read so long as I'm reading with him but my little Turtle will sit on his own reading like there's no tomorrow.

At least when I turn the Living Room into a Library it'll get some use!!

The aliens have landed and other ramblings

2006-07-11T11:49:00.000-05:00

Remember Tattoo from Fantasy Island? That's whose voice I hear everytime I see the boys after the are with their father for any amount of time. Except it's not 'De plane! De plane!' it's 'De Aliens! De Aliens!'

They leave as sweet silly boys and return as quarrelsome, screechy, mean aliens. And that's putting it nicely. It takes about 4 days to level them back out and I'm only on Day 2. Then it starts all over again in 2 weeks. I think part of it is the separation and schedule change but he also lets them eat junk they're not allowed. Especially Turtle. And the sad thing is he *knows* his dietary restrictions and what it does to him to eat HFCS, red 40, caffeine and chocolate! I think it's a subconscious effort of *f-ing* with me and being the 'cool dad'.

Pirates of the Caribbean-I have to see this movie. N.O.W. The boys lost the privilege of going tonight for Turtle's birthday so now tomorrow is hanging precariously by a thread. I hate suffering because of their behavior-If I didn't know better I'd think they were trying to break me and see if I'll stick to my guns. I just want a large Diet Coke, buttered popcorn, Mr. Depp and Mr. Bloom-That's it nothing more nothing less. They're old enough to buddy system it to the restroom if need be because hook me up to a catheter I'm not leaving my seat until its over!

Crash leaves for camp on Saturday. Somehow $200 for camp has turned into $300-Between gas/food fees, spending $$ for snacks & souveniers..Ugh ugh ugh..He'll have a killer time though. He's scheduled to do First Aid, Swimming, Woodworking, Fishing, Art and Mammal Exploration. Gotta love Scouts.

The best news of all? I signed up with Direct TV today and got a Killer deal with the DVR and FOOTBALL package!! Woohoo!! Oh and did I mention it will also include like 14 HBO channels so I'm never too far away from Entourage? Or Dane Cook's Tourgasm-He's a whole other thread. He is hysterical!

Now with my Fall and Winter television watching firmly in place I can focus on other things like fall camping and finding Turtle a new Cub Scout pack since I am not I repeat NOT going to be a Den Leader this year.I've done 2 years it's time to be a parent and help that way.

I've rambled enough for now-Considering I have a safety program to put together by the end of the week, along with quarterly financials etc.

I'll take one of those please..

2006-07-08T22:33:00.000-05:00

What makes me smile:

2006-07-08T11:14:00.000-05:00

My Daddy and how he can be bribed with just the mention of Starbucks. Venti Mochachip Frap with 2 shots of expresso and he'll give you the moon.

Seriously though, he has helped me so much around my house and with the boys. I am so thankful they have such a solid positive role model in their Papa. So here's my shout out to my Daddy-I love you! (My Daddy cooking Christmas Dinner)

A little late but..

2006-07-03T12:39:00.000-05:00

Your Birthdate: June 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2006-06-30T12:56:00.000-05:00

Can we say..Anger Management?

A challenge of sorts to my friend

2006-06-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

(You know who you are!) I'll be your exercise buddy. Stay on your MIL about the treadmill and get it to your house. It's easier when you're doing it with someone else.

Besides, it's too humid for me to walk/run right now so I need to use the treadmill!

And this is just for you:

Happy Friday my dear. Love to you!

And the Turtle is off!! (m)

2006-06-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

To Cub Scout Camp that is. As I watched him loading the car with his gear this morning I realized that the fuzzy turtle is growing up. Crash (AKA Brain) & I will be visiting him for the Family Night on Friday. I'm still unsure how I feel about this though. Turtle is my baby, and he's leaving the nest.

Rain Rain Go Away..

2006-06-27T08:26:00.000-05:00

It's another dreary day here. Cloudy, humid, off and on showers...A perfect day to be curled up in my favorite chair, have a cuppa tea and a really good book to read. But alas, I must come back down to Earth and get back to work today. There's bills to pay, jobs to shuffle (Thank you Weather Gods!), jobs to cost, an office, a warehouse to run, and the most dreaded of all my jobs.. filing!! I need upbeat music today-As that's the only hope of sunshine.

My music library has just expanded..

2006-06-20T10:43:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine gave me his music back up DVDs to copy. We're talking *HUNDREDS* of songs-Old & New. Holy camoly-I have more music on my computer now than ever before. I love hitting shuffle and waiting to see what will come up.

Right now, I'm loving the new Chili Pepper CD but I'm getting ready to listen to the new Tool CD which I hear rocks!

Who can I stand behind?

2006-06-13T22:35:00.000-05:00

I remember in 6th grade slapping a girl across the face for calling me a bitch and sitting in the office *dreading* my mother who had been called. When she got there she handed me a Slurpee and stood up for me w/ the Vice Principal. I'll never forget that moment. I had a champion.

Now, as a grown up I wish I still had that comfort of knowing I had someone in my corner ready to go out when the bell rang ready to throw punches for me-Or even to stand in front of me to deflect the blows. Neither of my marraiges afforded me that comfort-Not even once.

Today was a day that I could have used a hero..Just for a little while.

Interesting Observations..

2006-06-13T13:20:00.000-05:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

independent, loving, trustworthy

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

brave, caring, cheerful, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, helpful, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, patient, powerful, relaxed, religious, sensible, sentimental, silly, spontaneous, warm, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

adaptable, introverted, shy

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, accepting, bold, calm, clever, friendly, happy, idealistic, ingenious, logical, mature, modest, nervous, observant, organised, proud, quiet, reflective, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sympathetic, tense, wise

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (37%) calm (0%) caring (12%) cheerful (12%) clever (0%) complex (12%) confident (37%) dependable (37%) dignified (25%) energetic (12%) extroverted (12%) friendly (0%) giving (12%) happy (0%) helpful (12%) idealistic (0%) independent (25%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (50%) introverted (0%) kind (25%) knowledgeable (12%) logical (0%) loving (50%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (12%) powerful (12%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (12%) religious (12%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (12%) sentimental (12%) shy (0%) silly (25%) spontaneous (25%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (12%) warm (12%) wise (0%) witty (25%)

Created by the Interactive'>http://kevan.org/johari">Interactive Johari Window on 13.6.2006, using data from 8 respondents.
You can make'>http://kevan.org/johari">make your own Johari Window, or view'>http://kevan.org/johari?view=mpowers">view mpowers's full data.

Look what came to see me at work today:

2006-06-09T13:22:00.000-05:00

Our very own box turtle. I'm not sure where he came from but we took him back down to the woods where the lake is. We'd hate for him to wander the other way and get hit by a car. For a turtle he was pretty quick!

My newest addiction:

2006-06-09T08:25:00.000-05:00

Alternative Rock/Punk Music: Silverstein, Matchbook Romance, COC..I'm in love with the Chili Pepper's 'Dani California' now. I'm playing it non stop as I roll through my so called job today.

I've revived my love for heavy metal too. I've been rocking out to Megadeth and Pantera now too..

Love my music and love my friend who pointed me in the direction of another free download site. You know who you are! Love ya!

Waiting for the Weekend

2006-06-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

The Brain will be camping at the beach this weekend with Scouts so it'll be just me & Turtle for the weekend. The only thing I've got scheduled is his baseball game though we might go to Busch Gardens afterwards to ride the coasters.

Turtle is into drawing pictures of his own that are based on the 'I Spy' series.

He's asked for a "BIG" piece of paper to start one on. Hopefully a piece of poster board will work. I love how his mind works-He's that spooky smart that is always thinking outside the box.

It's Wednesday now so if I can make it through 2 baseball games, one more day of standardized testing, 2 1/2 days of work, a Scout meeting and helping Brain pack for camping I can have my weekend!!

PSA of the Week:

2006-06-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

Lurkers..You know who you are on community boards. You join, post a couple times (maybe) and then start lurking. You read our posts, know our joys, our sorrows, our inner most thoughts and never respond. You're the peeping toms of the internet and you suck.

So, if you've joined a community board (private or not) remember this:

1. You don't have to respond to each and every post there is. Respond when you can or what you can. Remember that you joined for a reason (hopefully) besides lurking.
2. Create a post every once & awhile-Be a member of the group.
3. We all go through periods of not having anything to share but it is still important to maintain your friendships online just as you do in real life. Let them know you're in a funk or working 2 jobs or you're running out of time during your day to post but that you're there and want to be a member.
4. If you just can't do any of this then please please please leave.

Thank you.

Didn't work-

2006-05-15T16:19:00.000-05:00

I need to learn how to set obtainable goals. I did not finish the 2 rooms I wanted by Sunday though I did throw out a bunch of crap and unload several more boxes in my office. I just need Memorial Day weekend to get here and soon. No obligations except to myself and this house.

The Dancing Machine-

2006-05-10T12:53:00.000-05:00

You have got to check this guy out! How many moves do you remember???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

Baseball Season is here

2006-03-30T23:06:00.000-05:00

As I watched baseball practice last night I realized it was the end of a era. Since 1999 one of my boys has been playing tball; now I've got one playing in the Majors and the other in the Minors. It's a bittersweet feeling realizing that the only t-ball I'll be watching is as a spectator only-and not as a Mom.

I always loved t-ball. Kids forgetting to run after they hit the ball for the first time or starting to run the wrong way, little ones picking flowers in the outfield, and the look of pure excitement as they run across home plate for the first time. The cheering on the t-ball field is entirely different too..There's a sense of excitement that isn't there on the other fields. Every hitter gets cheered on no matter what team they're on or if they get tagged out at first. It's the field where my love affair with baseball began.

Though my guys have moved on and the competition is stiffer I will always remember them on the t-ball fields.

My Baby was a Blue Crayon..

2006-03-30T13:07:00.000-05:00

As I walked in his 2nd grade classroom there he was instructing a 3rd grader at the computer station wearing his blue dress shirt, blue jeans, a Crayon logo down his body & a crayon tip hat! It was adorable!

Our elementary school had Social Studies day today. Each class had to present something that they've been learning about for other classes to view. Since they've been studying Economics they've used that as their subject for the project. They made crayons last week with broken ones and used them in one of their presentations today, another to describe the process, the computers were used to show about capital and natural resources and then a 'quiz' at the final station. They really outdid themselves this year.

My 5th grader's class did a skit that took place during the Civil War. They all did fantastic!! The classroom was transformed into a Union Camp, the girls all had skirts from that period (Thanks to my seamstress Grandma!) and they did awesome!! The class wrote their own skit, made their props including a tent that looked authentic and were very professional! They even had a 'stage crew'!

All in all it was an incredible day in our household. Even creating terrariums at Cub Scouts tonight went well! ;-)

Here I Go Again..

2006-03-27T12:45:00.000-05:00

Everytime I 'start over' that killer song by Whitesnake goes through my mind-Though Tawny Kitaen I'm not. As of March 1st I am a single mom again with two very busy boys, I've got a newly purchased home that is in need of a major overhaul inside and out (who invented wallpaper borders with geese anyways?) .

My two sons are 7 and 11 and between 4 days of baseball practice, 1 night of Cub Scouts-which I am the Den Leader, 1 night of Boy Scouts and various other little things they keep me running. My youngest was diagnosed with ADHD about a year and a half ago. Since then I have changed his dietary intake and he is doing nutrient therapy in lieu of the traditional medicinal methods. The best part? It works-He's allowed to let his 'smart shine through' and not just be seen for his silliness, fidgeting and wild behavior. My oldest has always been a sweet child--But those pre-teen hormones are kicking in and life is not what it used to be.

So, welcome to my little home on the internet and glimpse into my other than average life!