The most wonderful thing has happened~

No, the ex didn't fall off the face of the Earth. Wishful thinking! This is a more reasonable wondrous event!! Several months back I started looking for my best friend from many years ago. The last time we emailed was 2002/2003. I have a recurring dream about seeing him again and every time I wake up from it I am devastated that it was only a dream. He was the one person I could always count on in a crisis. He was the one that knew the real me back then and still was my friend. Anyways, I got a classmates.com account with his high school-He hadn't been there in what seemed forever and it was a shot in the dark. I almost forgot about it until this morning when I opened my email and there he was.

Sorry for the rambling on this but heck, I am just ecstatic to have found him again. Now I'm just killing time until it's late enough in his time zone to call him....

Being a Social Butterfly

I have looked forward to this weekend for several days now. The boys will be spending the weekend with their father and grandma. I have nothing planned except watching movies, trolling the library for books, working on my house so I can finally paint, and unpacking the last few boxes from our move last December, eating white pizza and drinking lots of red wine. Alone.


So why am I suddenly so anxious about this weekend? For the first time since I don't know when (Last year's company Christmas party.) I've been invited to 2 separate parties this weekend. I'm far from being a social butterfly in fact the thought of having to come up with a costume and flying solo at these events freaks me out. I'm not even sure that I want to go--It's the fear of suddenly realizing that I'm a 30 something single mom who doesn't go out and I fear becoming another woman I know. She's 50 something, single and bitter with the world because she's alone. Though it is entirely her fault-She let herself go and wrapped herself up in raising her youngest child. This is what I fear.

So what to do..what to do..Pull a costume out of my ass and find the extrovert in me and find a party or do I relish the adult alone time I'll be getting all weekend? And if I relish the adult time will I regret not going out Saturday night? And will I suddenly be craving company Saturday night? I need a decision maker.

Not being a Den Leader again..Yeah right.

Looking back through some of my previous ramblings I found the statement: "I repeat NOT going to be a Den Leader this year.I've done 2 years it's time to be a parent and help that way".

Imagine me falling down now and laughing at my own audacity to even think about not being the Bear Den Leader! What kind of selfish woman am I?? I am the Bear Den Leader with 4 little boys, one of which I haven't seen yet since he's still playing football.

How could this happen you ask? When I was so adamant about not doing it? It's simple, Turtle looked at me with those eyes that are exactly like mine (except he's got longer lashes. Brat!) and said he just wanted me to be his Leader one more time. Throw in a lower lip protruding slightly in sadness and a couple pleaseeee mommas and you've got me agreeing to do it yet again. My reward for falling for the boy's charm yet again-the biggest hug and a huge smak right on the lips.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every minute of it (Just about.) and 3 of the 4 boys are utter angels I just wanted to be a parent again. That'll have to wait til next year..Maybe..

Jack-My TV Dog

I have seen Jack paying attention to the TV on 2 occasions. Being the good mommy I leave the TV on Animal Planet for him when we leave so he isn't so lonely. I came home late one night and the dog show just happened to be on *again*. Usually when I come home he's all over me-Not this time. This time he is jumping up and down (quite literally) in one place yipping at me from in front of the TV. What kind of dog got him all happy? Another Lab, a shepherd nope a Puli-Who would have thought he'd be ecstatic over a mop dog..

Then last night during the 3rd quarter of the Giants vs Cowboys I look down at my feet to see what the heck he's doing since he hadn't demanded attention in quite awhile. He was watching the football game. Not for a minute or so the rest of the entire football game. Except for the commercial break when he followed me in the kitchen. Wonder who he was rooting for????